The Doctor meets Cullen
by Crimefire
Summary: One day, the Doctor lands in Forks. What happens...? A series of unrelated  ?  oneshots with 9/10/11 Doctors. Twilight bashing. Be warned, twihards  or whatever you're called
1. Chapter 1

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The familiar sound of whooshing filled the control room as the TARDIS materialized.

"Where are we?" piped up Rose.

"I dunno," the Doctor frowned, as he fiddled with a lever and stared at the screen. "We'll find out soon!" His demeanor brightened instantly.

They rushed to the entrance of the TARDIS.

"Hello-! Hm." As soon as they left the TARDIS they found themselves in a forest with tall, thin spiny trees. However, that was not the main thing that caught their attention.

A pair of sparkling humanoids was not more than ½ a metre away from them. The Doctor instantly whipped out his trusty Sonic Screwdriver and probed the glittering pair. He jabbed the male one a few times in the cheek.

"Are they sweating?" whispered Rose to the Doctor.

"No, they're sparkles. Like… glitter. Some deformation of the skin." the Doctor whispered back, before quickly sidestepping the pair and examining them from a more comfortable distance. Rose followed suit.

The male creature spoke. He gestured to himself. "I am Edward Cullen, and this is Bella, my wife-."

"Bit young to be married?" inquired the Doctor.

"-and you are the Doctor, that that would be Rose," continued Edward ignoring the rude Doctor.

"Ah!" cried the Doctor brightly. "Mind reader then! Just a warning, not a good idea to read into-"

The Doctor then noticed that Edward had collapsed onto the ground, clutching his head in agony. (Eddie! squeaked Bella)

The Doctor crouched down beside the fallen Edward, placing a (comforting) hand on Bella's shoulder. "This… Edward Cullen… he's brain had overloaded and imploded from my thoughts. I did warn him." He let out a hefty sigh. Bella looked up at him, her eyes red from 'trying to cry but no tears' syndrome. "Is he going to be okay?" she blubbered.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

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><p><strong>Review! :)<strong>

**There needs to be more stories where the Doctor owns!**


	2. Chapter 2

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"Oh no, girl, what's wrong with you today?" The Eleventh Doctor gave a dramatic sigh as he pulled a trigger here, pushed a button there, and finally slumped down on a plush chair conveniently right next to the TARDIS console. He gave it a little flick on the side for good measure, and the TARDIS gave a slight rumble in response.

"So, where are we going today? And where did that chair come from?"

The Doctor looked up tiredly at Amelia Pond, who was standing right in front of him, eyebrows raised. "Well, I don't know!" the Doctor cried, exasperated. "The old girl's not happy today, we could end up anywhere!" In response to this, the plush chair disappeared at once, causing the Doctor to fall in an undignified fashion onto the floor.

"Ummm…" Rory peered over at the Doctor from over his wife's shoulder. "According to this screen, we're in America. Washington, to be precise."

The Doctor brightened from his place on the floor. "I love America! When are we? The 1.5 billionth century is quite interesting! Please tell me we're in the 1.5 billionth!"

"We're in the 21st century, actually. In some place called Forks." Rory deadpanned.

Amy and Rory watched interestedly as the Doctor visibly deflated. "It's okay then," he mumbled to himself, snapping his suspenders. "We can just stay here." Suddenly, the Doctor realized the TARDIS was silent. Too quiet, actually. All her engines seemed to have shut down.

"Well," said Amy.

"Okay…" said Rory.

"Erhogh," said the Doctor.

"Looks like the TARDIS wants us to go to Forks. So, why not? Doct-or?" Amy asked, as she linked arms with Rory and dragged him out the blue doors.

The Doctor watched as the door shut behind them. "Why, girl?" he moaned as he picked himself up off the floor and agonisingly followed them. As he left, the Doctor heard a quiet, creaking sound that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

The Doctor stumbled through the rocky path chasing Amy and Rory, until he lopsidedly came to a stop beside them. "Woah."

Amy and Rory were frozen, and having a staring contest with a large wolf. A rather large, snarling and angry wolf. Amy's eyes flickered to the Doctor. "Doctor…" she drew out the word. "It's going to attack us!"

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Right. Hello, wolf!" He whipped out trusty screwdriver and "sonic-ed" the creature in front of them. At the noise, the creature yelped and whined, folding its large ears. It then morphed into a man. He was shirtless, and had an…interesting set of abdominal muscles.

"Is that a werewolf?" Amy asked.

"Hah! Werewolf my pinstriped suit!" the Doctor laughed. "No offense," he added, with a quick look at the stranger. "That's a shapeshifter," he continued, "nowhere near as _cool _as a werewolf, but still."

He gave another quick glance at the person in front of them. "Again, no offense. Nice fur colour though. Like rust. What was it called again? Russet. _Russet! _I want to be Russet! It's going on the list right after ginger. Anyway, we'll just be off!" He hurriedly tugged on Rory and Amy's sleeves and made to drag them back to the TARDIS. "Bye!"

The Doctor gave a hasty wave at the fierce looking person in front of him whose mouth was open in a wolfish snarl. "WHATDIDYOUDOWITHMYBELLA?" the person shouted.

"Why does he need an umbrella?" Rory muttered to Amy.

The Doctor however, understood. "Ah, unfortunately…there was a rather regrettable incident during a previous incarnation, and…" he had an extremely grave lexpression, before seeing the murderous look on the other person's face. "Seems like we'll have to stay here a jiffy longer," he sighed.

"I mean - I can help you find your Bella! Trust me." The Doctor winked, and then began awkward sweeping movements with his arms, holding his sonic in one hand and a nail clipper in the other.

Suddenly, the young man began screaming. His began to hunch over, limbs lengthening, fur growing and shrinking. There was more shrinking, and shrinking, and shrinking.

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><p>"It's really cute!"<p>

"Fluffy."

"Still _Russet_."

Amy, Rory and the Doctor were squatting down and eyeing a russet, fluffy harmless puppy as it playfully pawed at the Doctor's shoe.

The Doctor looked interestedly at the bright green light of his screwdriver. "Funny, it's never happened like that before…"

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**That's it for Jacob! (Yes, it was Jacob.)**

**Reading back over this chapter, I feel like it's sort of incomplete – I'm not really happy with this chapter T_T**

**Feedback please? (:**


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